why do we never see Columbo's wife? because he doesn't have one of course. 

It's a very common police strategy, IRL, to make up family members while interrogating criminals that are interested in what the criminal is interested in to make them more comfortable. 

what is Columbo's wife interested in? without fail, exactly what the criminal is interested in. (at least most of the time) 

This has already been thought up. That's nothing new. 

My headcanon is a little bit deeper… uh

I think Columbo is aroace. haha. ok I said it uhhhh-

Columbo, in my headcanon, is, uh, aegosexual. That's where you get turned on, as Columbo occasionally does in a few episodes, but doesn't actually feel like actually *doing* anything. Which is valid! 

Anywa; uhm -- cheers.