toebeans(.VOIDSCREAM.)

FACINATING STUFF. So basically SG was all like "ayo you doin a poker scam or what" and I was like ayoo and deleted everything, changed my settings, changed my password or whatever and went offline for a few days and boom we all set again. Feel free to yell at me to tell me if my stuff is funky hehe. Coulda been a lot worse, tbh. Cause like I didn't upload it or nothin... but legally I'm held responsible for what's on my site, technically! Could have been gnarly!
So anyway, I've been reading a lot of very intersting books. Can't reccomend The Reader by some german guy, it was very strange and not okidoki! But I'm also enjoying my pithy realist maddeningly well-researched novels like Red October (I'm on my 45th read) and that one about the mona lisa and the catohlic church (fifth read rn). I'm thinking about getting a cheap pocket android-based ereader to use KOReader better, but honestly my phone is plenty good enough. cmon. so that's cool.
I'm enjoying my pals, exploring my brain and body and self and interpersonal truths, and oh yeah work is going maddeningly good, get a load of this... I finished a solo project that took like 3 months and it was met with deep approval by management...! it was really neat. It's basically instructions for future employees to teach them how to do a specific process using ArcGIS Pro, a fancy

[REDACTED CONTENT - REFER TO TRTB1 FOR FURTHER INFORMATION REGARDING SAID REDACTED CONTENT - E.O.L]

oh, and also the eclipse or whatever. I was at work + dont care + l + ratio + ur a good person and ily <3

I know, I know, I'm awake in the daytime. The sun is no enemy to me, turns out.

Anyway, there was a dude at the coffee shop who wanted to know what my keyboard was. It's a Royal Kludge M75, in the grey colorway. It's a great little keyboard, with modern features like a knob and screen and RGB with mild programmability. Like I told him, it's a great little piece of kit. Along with the G502 Wireless and the Surface Pro, it's kind of the best little computing setup you can get under 1k.

He told me about his little setup a bit, and he happened to glance at my URL, here. If you see this, hello again fellow Surface Pro enjoyer. haha. Enjoy the website.

:(

:/

[new material to be published soon.]

03/16/24 - [new content is published]

Study is rediculous. Absolute batcrap. Lots of confusion in social life as well, if I'm being honest. I'm making videos on my personal yt, but I'm unlisting all of them, I don't really know why. If you ask for them I'll give them to you, I suppose.

I tried Microsoft's new "Copilot" GPT knockoff, and it low-key sucks balls. It's nowhere near as powerful, if it is a little faster at typing out what low-quality crap it is capable of typing... and when I tried to hook it up to my Office 365 applications it literally all but bricked them. It's early days, and it doesn't look good. They rolled it all out wayyy too quick. Kinda sad, really. They're promising too much, and know too little about what the tech can actually do. Silly Microsoft execs.

I've been watching a lot of gaming news. I like Spawnwave News and Bellular News on yt. They're absurdly regular with their content, especially Spawn, and they talk about a lot of stuff, and Spawnwave Network includes a full-roster all-star podcast in Spawncast, too, which is relaxing to watch. I also really like the other really calm and relaxing gaming content creators, like Retro Game Corps and Taki Udon.

I've been doing a really strange brain hacking habit lately. I've been using youtube videos as sleep aids. You'll have to ask me about it since my windows device's battery is running low. :)

I'm happy. My friends are doing well, and so am I. This evening I went to a funky little fair thingy with some friends, and tonight another friend set me up with some new fics to read. I'm writing bit by bit, and I've been gaming happily. There are certainly holes in my armor, and there are things that don't go my way, but all in all, I'm happy. Things are going well. thanks for caring.

This is the public-facing site. So I'd like it to be putblicized! I want a few folks to find it and be pleasantly confused. :D

I've been developing a few fun ways to do this. These ways have to mirror the site itself: mysterious, loud, and slightly scary. That's kind of what defines this site, me, and TOEBEANS.

One method of sharing my site to others is via PAPER! Whoa, bet you weren't expecting that one! [.THE.ARTIST.] NEVER uses paper! Well, I always use bits of it at work. But that's neither here nor there; nobody cares about work. I plan to use index cards with an artsy design, inspired by 60s band posters, with the URL of my site! Very fun.

I'm still coming up with new ideas... check back later, I suppose.

Happy 2024, everyone! I'm doing good now. Much better. Also, art is good again. So lots of good things.

Firstly I think it's important to acknowledge the fact that I'm working on my sleep. My friends who don't partake in insomnia were a little concerned, so here's some info: I habitually sleep at least 10 hours every 24 hours... even if that isn't always... at night. eheh. But now I'm trying to move things around so that I sleep *mostly* at night. I feel like this is important, because I'm starting some of the toughest school work I've ever had! It's important to do that in the day time where I have more time to work.

Another fun thing that's been happening is this: Mom Edith and I have aquired a new coffee grinder! It's very nice: a Comandante c40 Mk4. It was a joint christmas present, and we're going to be making lots of coffee with it.

Also, through everything, I have been working on my novel. If you're curious about how it's going, feel free to DM me. It's a long, in-depth process to craft a novel-length story.

I've been listening to very large amounts of Steely Dan, lately. I think it reminds me of my grandmother; she listened to them a lot. Also I've been listening to more current artists whose stage names are... a little nsfw. DM me if you're curious, haha.

Let's see, what else...? My work is going well. I now have enough experience with accounting, document processing, and lots of other things, all enough to put on a resume, and very impressively! Feels good, man. I earned my experience over very long periods of time, and lots of hard work. Highly reccomend hard work, btw. It do indeed pay off.

[CONTENT REDACTED - REFER TO TRTB1 WITH ANY INQUIRIES REGARDING ANY REDACTED INFORMATION.]

Anyway, with that very [PHRASE REDACTED] remark out of the way, I will leave you with the firm, confident assurance that I am indeed doing very well. Still. Again. Wild that it's lasted this long.

⟢
((oh did I mention that's my symbol now? ok. now i did. ok, bye))

⟢

I'm still making art, it's just coming out slower right now. Hard times, emotional difficulty, family troubles, and also just mild overwhelment, but not too much. Art is still my outlet. I know very few people care, but in case one of them is you, I'm still making art. :))

I am happy. Perfectly naturally, normally, and for nice, positive reasons. I am, mentally, perfectly stable, if extremely densely-packed. I express this density of thought in art, such as this website and the [.FACE.] it represents. It's good to have an outlet.

I've been practicing different kinds of photography. I've tried event photography, sport photography, artsy, high-concept photography projects, theme photography, portrait photography (far too easy, I feel, but the most popular, I think), street photofgraphy, and a few other types. For anyone interested, I use a very affordable beater camera with a 16-50mm zoom lens, and reccomend to you something similar if your phone won't cut it. I use this camera in conjunction with a 360 camera which I usually have screwed to the top at an angle, as well as my phone for more specific scenarios.

I've been going through my internship in local civil government for well over a year now. It's going very smoothly, and my team, which is absolutely wonderful, is hiring a new intern with the mostly express purpose of helping me with my work. I'm still trying to figure out how to get into Water Treatment. It still looks like the best industry. Ignore this paragraph. :)

I'm getting back into music. I like music a lot, and probably always will. I'm taking a very brief break from full-on fiction writing, keeping it fairly unfocused and purpose-driven. I'm feeling very exhausted, and letting my depression seep into my life in a manageable and healthy manner.

[INFORMATION REDACTED - REFER TO TRTB1 FOR ALL INQUIRIES REGARDING REDACTED MATERIAL]

which, I should add, is still very clear overall. I have teams of professionals helping me with this, there is no need for concern.

I've been keeping in tight contact with a lot of people. It's complex, and I think that complexity, and unusual form and comprehensional structure is the most beautiful thing in the world. Carry on. ily.

I am something called demisexual.

How does this interact with literally anything in my life, yours, or literally anything whatsoever?

IN NO WAY WHATSOEVER. Don't worry! If you wanna have a relationship with me, first of all I value your time, but even you can totally ignore this blog post altogether. Totally. I'm pretty normal. I'm just complex as all hell. I'll explain if you want me to :)

this'll be a little explanation for whoever wants it... so I'm a part of a small group known as '.THE.LADS.', along with N. Tajimaroa, K. Flouridor, N. Pedroza. We're kind of just growing up together, and exploring life and things like school, love, and other horrific things like that. I post about them occasionally on my @thereal_toebeans insta account. I keep most parts of my social life pretty insulated from eachother. I think it's important to have balance in how I interact with people, but I do occasionally shout out people in particular.
Have fun, yall.

YEAH THERE WAS A MASSIVE BUG AND IT WAS VERY STRANGE, BUT I FIXED IT WITH HELP FROM stgiga AND IT SOMEHOW HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH RANDOM WORDPRESS FILES THAT GOT UPLOADED TO MY SITE SOMEHOW WHICH CONFUSED THE HOSTING PROVIDER AND SCREWED WITH THE WHOLE SITE IT WAS VERY STRANGE AND CONFUSING BUT stgiga KNEW JUST WHAT TO DO; I HAVE NICE FRIENDS :)))))

YOOOOO I FINALLY GOT A BANKER'S LAMP!!!!!!

me and a buddy of mine pulled up in the old white grandparent district and commenced to beat up the antique shops which commiserate in the area. We got ice cream from a bum in some place where they keep a spare guitar and I bummed a dollar off an old dear who bent an ear. Pretty swell.

On account of the fact we asked every damn shopkeep on the block of 5th and 4th in old town, we stumbled on some old freak behind his counter who swore up and down he knew a man up round gotschalk way there who had a banker's lamp - which is what we were after - so we hitched our sacks and rode north.

after the bum took my dollar and we smelt the hint of a familiar perfume, we rapped pon the door of "old lisper," whom the fella behind the counter down south had named particular; and he squeaked the door and I pressed the quiery.

land! there she was, just as fine as you can spit! and old lisper only took 30 greens for her. and now she sits, one green eye staring down in submission, pon my desk over this missive its very self.

This aint the end of it though! Oh, no sir! For my pally of mine, he had a favor of ME!

That old hint of scent we came on. The one we got coming up old lisper's way. it told of a soul whom my friend knew particular, whom he was sure to never see again. we streaked across the blacktop after it, and came across a lad sitting on the fence around the barne. the sun was low yet, and the stars aligned around young man's head like a halo on a angel messenger from on high, and from and so he stayed.

Spake he, yonder messenger angel boy, "low down there by the sinful house of coffee yonder, there; she sits steeping in tea and solitude - she awaits... ye!"

and so he pointed a slim finger at my friend just by me, and lo, he returned to the knot on the wood of the fence, hole of which opened to the setting sun, as it died on the horizon.

You bet we hastened to the house of sinful coffee southernwhich, and as we approached, the woods cried out in wails and weird screams, and the shadows rose about ourselves, as the dark outline of the house of christ-brew grew, as such did the whisps of perfume which told of her return. the crow told of danger, but we didn't pay no mind. My friend was to see his girl.

We flew as birds a-falling, I pulling back my reigns; but thus my friend fairly dove into the cold darkness of the house of black liquid, darkest sin, deepest hole, and was never seen again, as he landed, safe and warm again, in the comfort and warm of the nest of her arms.

the envelopment closed. the house of sin closed its doors behind him. the vision faded away. and I turned, shaking my head, knowing I would wait for him, and that he would clap my hand in thanks for the lie, the wait, THE ALIBI.

and now, after these things, i paint my nail white.

hi :) um I guess Im announcing another project... sorry for all the confusion. so this ones really very simple, its just another alt account or something. the artist calls these... like... "personified outputs of artistic exrpession" or "faces" or smthg... kinda silly, if you ask me.

this ones different though, cause its not a like... art output. its a "face.' wich is kinda strange. like the artist itself doesnt make gramatical or speling arrors but this thing does? also its kinda cozy in here cuz the artist is kinda more softer than usual. this isnt like a "plural" or like uncontrolled thingy, its very intentional, btw. im not really sure, idk how it works :))

this project is weird... so theres this huge movement in art rn; people are trying to be "the one." this means that theyre trying to so exciting and thrilling that the content could exist in a vaccum. just like.. amazingly perfect and so amazingly exciting... the problem is the artist itself a ctually identiries with this a little too much. im here to be an alternate face for teh artist, allwoing perfection to not be expected, and letting the excellence of the Artist's true abilities to shine forth into darkness. The really clever part about this project is really the fact that the artist has full control over its mediums.

anywa, ily :) ttys~

uh whoops, it's been a bit hahah ok so like pretty much things been fire as all hell lately, uh, my internship is fantastic and there's donuts very often and candy and lots and lots of very smart people with career advice. And uh my volunteer work is great, today I gave out 100 kids bikes to the community with city councilmembers. Also, I'm reading Orlando. Oh, and I bought a freakin CAMERA! A fairly NICE one too!! I'm very proud of it, Adlouw has one very similar and he gave me the suggestion for the exact model. stgiga is making lots of amazing advancements in their life. kz8cheese quit insta at 3am, again, lol. And my parents are doing incredibly well, learning things about themselves and eachother all the time. I'm outputting tons of amazing art, and I uh... made a uh... alt account on Insta... Ask and ye shall (prolly) recieve. :)

[ I'm doing well mentally. College started, and my commute is back on. It's gonna be very nuts in the beginning, but we all good. Nbd. My teachers are interesting, and I'm getting good repor with them as soon as possible. I haven't written any short stories in the longest time, tbh. That's the one really awful thing in my life right now. I'm planning on making a whole new website soon, by teh way! Most of yall ain't getting it, cross-pollenation ain't the jive here. If you're a real one you'll get it lol; if you be top dogg, just ask and I'll gibbittaya. I've been messing around with spotify... also photography. I've been taking a LOT of photos lately. I'm learning more and more techniques to make my photos better. I should have a photography dump on this site, huh? Anyway, I have three moms. Idk if you knew that haha. Two biological ones and one of them's dating a third. That's a whole other blog entry, but suffice it to say that we are all very happy and our lives are great. We all have great jobs, good houses, we all good. In other news, my bosses are fantastic. I have two. They both give me different kinds of tasks. Oh yes, spotify... I just got a premium subscription lately, and I'm messing around with it... It has a tiktok??? What??? I'm so confused. I don't l;ike features where they mess with the artist's work, maybe I'm a musical purist... but I don't like it when Apple Music adds like... animated cover art? It ruins the intended experience. Well spotify doesn't even want you to look at the cover art at all! When you're listening to a song, they give you some kind of bizarre video wierdness that loops at unfortunate moments and is very distracting. I hate it, so I turned it off. Also, did you know that my boss pulled a tree up by the roots once??? it's true!! he got mad on a field job for work and he just yanked it out of the ground. Maybe a 8 foot tree, big around as a car! How do you spell geshuntiet? Gehsundight? Idek. So my Surface Pro is AWESOME...! It can do almost everything I need it to, all besides stream video on a zoom call... I bought it for like under $500 at a best buy, open box, about as good as those deals go, and I've used it ever since. I'm not sure why my desktop PC is slower! This little tablet only has an i3, 8 gigs, no graphics, poor thermals... but it can run as many or more browser tabs, and usually feels a little snappier than my desktop...? I'm not sure why that is. I think I'm going to need to upgrade my PC soon. It needs a little boost, if not a replacement. Oh, and I've been playing on my 3DS a lot lately. I really like Rune Factory 4 on it! The two screens are really nice, and the 3D effect is hard to beat, in my opinion. I'm not sure why people don't like it; it works astonishingly well, and it doesn't slow down the system at all! I wonder why not... :VR needs to render everything twice! Why not the 3DS? Maybe it does...? But then you'd get around double the graphics performance capabilities with only 2D??? Why would they sacrifice all those possibilities for a gimmick? I guess it was Nintendo. They're just dilusional. Minecraft Rocks, Steam Decks rule, life is good, carry on.

```

I'm beginning a long and complex process. I'm going to write a novel.

This will take a ridiculously long time.

It will be a mystery story. Here are a few facts about the book that you may find interesting:

• The story will not be told purely in prose narrative. This means that the content of the novel will not always be formatted the same. It will ultimately be more along the lines of a collection of media, formatted into a book-like structure, flowing in and out of evenness in separation of its poetry, prose, lengths of each, focus, structure, etc.


• The entire novel will never have an official, mainline release outside of a website. This means that there will never be a physical release. You have every ability to download the website to your computer and print the processed HTML and CSS yourself, but the main way to experience the story will be via a web browser, connected to the website that the story is hosted.


• The novel will be free of charge forever, but still fall under strictly-enforced copyright, with the copyright holder being the author alone. There will be no publisher other than myself and the website I publish though, as with all of my other published work.

The finished product will not be finished for more than likely five years or more. This will be a very long process. I want to get it perfect.

Hey real quick being a professional sports player is great and all, but when you win the very next thing that happens is not "omg you won, you will always be remembered for that sick win" it's "ok cool when's the next win;" and that's why I'm an author, because when I complete something it can be consumed by my fans over and over and over and they might never read any other things that I've produced, but they have something tangible that they can hold on to forever, and that's good.

And as I sit here, unable to cry, I also remember what a wonderful grandmother she was to me.

I couldn't sleep last night, so I decided to take a morning walk and get some footage for the youtube channel. I caught the sunrise. Very pretty. I saw some geese. I don't always get up early enough to see the sunrise or catch the weather before the heat sets in; sometimes unusual things can change your attitude. It's my day off, so I might just be able to sleep soon ^_^

I've always been an iPad producer. When I produce, it's on an iPad. Until recently! I suddenly remembered that I'm rich; so I bought FL Studio!! Very exciting. I've been supremely confused the entire time I've been using it! I honestly have no freakin idea about how to use this darn software.

Before I switched to iPad full-time, I used Garageband, waaaay back in the early 2000s, back when it was bundled with iLife! That software was awful, but it basically trained my brain to expect certain behaviors from music production software designed for a mouse. FL Studio has fundamentally different commands. I think the trick for me is learning the keeb shortcuts, because if you use the mouse for everything you're basically screwed with Fruity Loops. What a hilarious name, too! But it's an industry standard, so… whatever. Lol.

Tonight me and my parental figure Edie (yes, name change is in the works <3) are creating a dish of chicken wings and stuff in the style of chat GPT according to its exact specifications.

It's astonishingly easy to ask the all-knowing machine to invent a recipe on the spot. It's rather terrifying. The machine is capable of creating a delicious meal, regardless of what ingredients you give it. We actually haven't tried giving it a challenge, yet! We should try that, Edie.

I use the knowledge-machine for all kinds of things, even the making of this website. I can hand-code a site, but I'm really just so good at faking it that the faking looks somewhat like competence. I don't know how, exactly. ChatGPT can extend my abilities very far, making me capable of actually *doing* it, at least a little. This site is a proof-of-concept, I guess.

Xbox has a lot of money. One of the things that money does not automatically supply is focus and structure. I think that it is incredibly easy to look at what Microsoft's Xbox brand is doing right now, with Redfall's disaster specifically, and think that Xbox has very little focus and structure and that they're not capable of going in the right direction anymore. The trick is that Xbox is directly tied to Microsoft, a company that has not only focus and structure, but also a very large amount of money. Since it's so easy to think of Xbox as its own separate entity, I see a lot of smaller, less connected news outlets and individuals say things along the lines of "Xbox is going downhill," or "I'm getting rid of my Xbox forever." I disagree and think that's foolish. I think that Xbox is not very focused, but very organized; and I think that there's going to be some great news from their quarter very soon.

I'm currently listening to a playlist of bladerunner soundtracks. It makes me think of how many of my TTRPG games take place in a cyberpunk world. I've already completely forgotten what it was that first introduced me to the cyberpunk literary genre... The emotions that I felt when I first read Neuromancer will always be with me.

Hello world this is my blog where I scream into the void. If you see this, text me the word: "blogbloc" anywhere, discrod if ya got it, that or insta, and btw, you're kinda awesome.
(kinda lame cause this is so easy to see, but whatever lol)